Last year, the students in my Latin 3A class translated an essay entitled Commentariolum Petitionis (A Little Handbook of Electioneering.) The essay was written by Quintus Tullius Cicero in 65-64 BC for his brother, the more famous Marcus Tullius Cicero, on the eve of his campaign for the consulship of Rome (in 64 B.C.E.).
After much analysis and discussion of the text, the class reduced their translation to a bullet-pointed and abridged version designed to convey Quintus’ most salient points for you. You may be surprised to learn just how little has changed in 2090 years! —Dr. Davis
- To a candidate, a friend is anyone who supports you.
- Win uncommitted voters by doing favors for them.
- Hope will guarantee votes in an election. Inspire voters with hope and make them believe that you will always be there to help them.
- Adapt your message to suit your audience. Tell them what they want to hear.
- Nothing impresses an average voter more than having a candidate remember him, so work every day to recall names and faces.
- It will help your campaign tremendously to have the enthusiasm and energy of young people on your side to canvass voters, gain supporters, and spread news.
- Recognize the difference between the useful and useless men in any organization. It will save you from investing effort on people who will be of little help to you.
- Pay special attention to businessmen and wealthy citizens.
- Voters will judge you on what sort of crowd you draw.
- If you make people believe that you trust them as friends, you will increase the chances that they really will be friends.
- You desperately need to learn the art of flattery—a disgraceful thing in normal life but essential when you are running for office.
- A candidate must be a chameleon, adapting to each person he meets, changing his expression and speech as necessary.
- Promise everything to anyone, unless some clear obligation prevents you. But only live up to those promises that benefit you.
- Stick to generalities and tell each constituency what it wants to hear.
- As regards the masses, be sure to put on a good show.
- Remind them of what scoundrels your opponents are and smear them at every opportunity with the crimes, sexual scandals, and corruption they have brought on themselves.
- You don’t have to actually bring your opponents to trial on corruption charges, just let them know you are willing to do so. Fear is more useful than actual litigation!
By Billy Cashel, Thomas Danahy, Rylan Dean, Sammy Flood, Eita Fuse, Ben Gong, Jaiden Lee, Brandon Li, Justin Li, Brody Lindstrom-Chalpin, Henry Ramanathan, Tyler Smith, T. Z. Snail, Cooper Tarlie, Griffin Vail, Ethan Xie, Alex Zhang, Nathan Zhang
Indresh Chandel